[The image above was found on a now-defunct? blog credited to Adam Mathes - thanks Adam!]Since those goddamned Hollywood writers are still on strike (why is it that throughout history, writers are always the ones stirring the pot?), that means no more "Heroes," no more "Pushing Daisies," no more "My Name is Earl" and no more "Reaper." Thankfully, I think that my "Everest: Beyond The Limit" is untouchable.
But no "Heroes?" WTF!?!
So, that got me to thinking about "super powers." Everybody would like to fly - that's a no-brainer. (Well, maybe those with altophobia - but would having this power make a fear of heights go away? How about aviophobics? Surely the fear of flying would disappear?)
What about the lesser-known powers? Are there any you can think of? What are the implications of having such powers? I offer a few - and a forum - for you:
1) Power to telepathically interact with and manipulate any electronic/mechanical device.
- The reason I'd like this one so much is primarily because of what I could do while driving. That dickhead who gets in the far right lane at a stoplight even though it is clearly marked on the road and via signs that "his" lane ends in 50 yards - because he is too special to get in line like the rest of us? ZAP! I'd temporarily make his engine shut off. That asshole in the SUV driving 75 mph during a snowstorm (why is it always the SUV driver)? POW! I'd force his power-steering to steer that bastard into a ditch...thereby making the rest of us a little safer. (Would I care if he or she got hurt? Maybe a little...but truth be told - they are putting themselves and everyone else at risk - so I doubt I'd lose sleep over it.) Man, this would be a fun power to have! I only hope I could be entrusted to use it righteously instead of self-righteously. The other no-holds-barred, completely selfish reason I'd like this one? Never again would I have to stop at a stoplight!
2) Power to make pet-poop and piss just disappear.
- How awesome would that be? If you don't have a menagerie of 6 pets like me and Sweetness do, the magic of this one may be lost on you. Trust me...it would be such a magical, time-saving delight to possess this power.
3) Power to time-travel.
- Where - and when - do you think you'd spend most of your time? Who would you really like to spend a few days with? Why? If you could only travel once (forward or backward) when and where would it be? Why? If there was a 1% chance that you'd get stuck there, would it change your answer as to the 'where' and the 'when'? Would you still take the chance? (I like this power and these questions because I think it reveals a lot about a person. Maybe I'll reply in the "comments.")
4) Power to communicate with animals at least as effectively as I can with humans - and them with me.
I'm not sure how this would work - or what it would sound like - but I know I'd dig it. When the dog starts panting and getting all excited - and I know it's not food or potty-related, I could just ask her, "Yo. What are you all juked-up about, dawg?" It would be cool to know what's going on in her mind when she seems to be so aggressive toward humans of a certain pigmentation. We sure as heck didn't teach her that. Also, I'd like to know what ails the dog and kitties on those days they seem to not be feeling well. And I 'd give anything to know the answer to this: Hey Cat, what the heck is up with chasing your own tail with such ferocity that you knock the wind out of yourself? Do you REALLY think it's not a part of YOU?
What else can you think of?
9 comments:
Before I even got to the part about the poop disappearing at will having to do with our animals I was thinking "if only I could get the dog/cat poo to disappear!"
And then I went and cleaned a litterbox.
I used to daydream about time travel when I was younger (say, 26 or so). I always hung out with historical figures like they were my buds. I was very into living on plantations, which raises interesting race questions. Usually I was the friend of a child in the big house or something, but that didn't preclude me from hanging out in the slave quarters.
When I time travel into the future, it's usually the not-too-distant future, and I'm doing stuff like going on cool vacations or remodeling the house. The future travels are more of the daydream variety.
The thing that has always interested me about going back in time is how clean/dirty stuff was. It would be very hard for me not to pack deoderant and hand sanitizer. Maybe I'd bring some as presents.
2 would get my vote, but surely 4 is the wrong way around!
Cheers
This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.
What about the power to stop time? How awsome would it be to get that couple hours of sleep every night... really forget all the other cool stuff you could do with it, I just really like sleep.
I appreciate the comments - as always.
I think, if I had the chance to time-travel only once (even with a 1% chance I'd not be able to "come back"), I'd have to still do it. I am fluctuating between backward or forward, though. The reason I'd like to go forward (about 150 years) is mainly to see if all the global warning crises get solved. Of course, if they didn't, it would just drive me bananas. No one would believe I'd actually seen it, so I'd probabl get locked-up due to my fanaticism. I'd probably be compelled to join ELF, which REALLY would get me locked-up. So, upon thinking it through, I'm going backward!
I'm gonna go sit on Walt Whitman's lap like he's Santa Claus and cofnab with that crazy beautiful bastard for hours...and if he asks me to bed...well, I'll let you know my reaction.
How about the power to read peoples' minds. That one could be very dangerous, but fun!
I choose the ability to "leap tall buildings in a single bound" just for the hell of it.
Altophobia? Isn't that fear of very high male voices? I thought it fear of heights was "high anxiety," but that's what you happens when you get your psychology from Gene Wilder films.
Curmudgeon, there's a good reason you don't have unlimited super powers! Actually there are several. But I'm glad you have the limited human powers that you have. It makes you hopeful.
I'd like to have lunch with Hemingway. The problem is that I can't think of any reason he'd want to have lunch with me. I can't imagine spending a few days with someone I don't really know. I can't even do that with my in-laws.
Curmudgeon, sorry about the typos in my last post. Is there a way to edit it? Oh, well. That's what I get for rushing! Happy Festivus! Or is it over?
Here's to the pet waste removal power! We could make a fortune. Not to mention save our sanity.
I like the idea of the power to give other people a super-power. Include a touch of "do my bidding" and nothing could stop me. (insert evil laugh here)
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