Friday, August 17, 2007

Ancient Document Proves Christians to Blame for Letter "T"


Sardinia, Italy - A discovery on the island of Sardinia, nestled between the Tyrrhenian and Meditarranean Seas, has brought into question the origins of the letter "T." A group of anthropologists - accompanied by linguistic experts and etymologists - claims to have uncovered evidence that the letter "T" originated as a propoganda tool by early Christians.

The symbol in English for the sound "T" originated from "tau," the twenty-second and last character of the ancient Hebrew alphabet. In its earliest form, it was written "X" but represents the letter "T."

Conspiracy theorists have long speculated that early Christians altered the letter's representation into the alphabet as Christianity moved from the underground - when use of the ichthus, or "Jesus fish," fell out of favor. The recently uncovered document - carbon dated to the second century A.D. - details an early Christian power struggle over the use of ichthus, which had been a pagan symbol of the Mother Godess' vulva. [See above illustration.]

"Although the letter 'T' had been in use prior to this," said Dr. Lowell Cunningham, the director of the project, "this document proves that early Christians played a significant role in altering the letter from what was essentially a plus sign [+] - with equal lines - to its current incarnation as symbolic of the cross [ T ]."

Pagans plan to march on the Vatican later this year in an effort to raise support for their calls to return the letter "T" to a plus sign. "What this does," exclaimed self-described pagan, Marcus Cross, "is verify everything we have felt to be true but couldn't prove. Christianity usurped not only our holidays, our symbols and many of our rituals - including the drinking of lamb's blood - but they have altered all English-speaking people's consciousness. Subliminally, every time a 'T' is written or read, at a subconscious level, you are forced to pray...we think the world has had enough!"

When asked about the fact that this is only true when one writes a small 'T' and not the capitalized version, he said the group is open to compromise.

A spokeswoman for the Pope officially denies any involvement by the Catholic Church.




5 comments:

A String of the Big Cheese said...

HA! HA! Ha Ha. Whenever anyone writes to L.T., they are essentially praying. I like that. Bow down to me. l.t.

Hanky Ann said...

I have had an awkward feling about "t" for years. Thank god (ha) I now know why. :)

Anonymous said...

CM, you have to understand that these things are for our own good. Don't resist. Open your heart, embrace the t.

Doc Kokopelli said...

I dunno, somethin' smells fishy round here. What is is ain't exactly clear. There's a man with a cross over there. Tellin' me I've got to beware. It's time we stop, chillin' - What's that sound? Ever' body look what's cumin down.

For more on this topic see http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_symb.htm

"Greek word "delphos" meant both fish and womb. The word is derived from the location of the ancient Oracle at Delphi who worshipped the original fish goddess, Themis. The later fish Goddess, Aphrodite Salacia, was worshipped by her followers on her sacred day, Friday. They ate fish and engaging in orgies. From her name comes the English word "salacious" which means lustful or obscene. Also from her name comes the name of our fourth month, April. In later centuries, the Christian church adsorbed this tradition by requiring the faithful to eat fish on Friday - a tradition that was only recently abandoned. In ancient Rome Friday is called "dies veneris" or Day of Venus, the Pagan Goddess of Love."

EHoward said...

Thus spaketh the Lord:

"Let the white men cometh out of the forest and settle. They will gather amongst above the wretched at a flat stone and make fire. Over darkened leaves hot water shall be poured and they will drink. It shall be called "T" and it shall be good.

"And I will raise up the cause for mankind's conscience and he will choose for himself: one lump or two, milk or none (or non-dairy creamer, shouldeth he be lactose intolerant). And "T" will be drunk, whether it be high or low, with scone or turky leg. And White Man thus shall be civilised."

And thus spaketh the Lord.