"It was there when I was still alive."
(My good friend LT, discussing a landmark from her hometown.)
"Are you trying to poison me with your boobs?"
(Cranial Midget, to Sweetness, after kissing her bare right breast. I'd just showered and applied deodorant. Shortly after that, we were in preseason mode. I draped my arm across her chest just before the nuzzle. Her boob tasted like a combination of "Off" and strychnine. It took me a moment to realize what had happened...and even longer to recover.)
"Ouch!"
(CM, again to Sweetness, just moments after the above incident. This was my response to having a moustache hair yanked from my lip via her earring. Hey - I never said I was Cyrano de Romeo...)
"General Peter Pace said he didn't want homosexuals in his army. Well Peter, at least they know when to pull out of a shit hole." (Bill Maher, on his HBO special, "The Decider.")
"I always exaggerate."
(My friend, Dr. Do Little.)
Transcript from google chat:
Monkey: These emoticons are campy and girly and should only be used by gay or emasculated men.
CM: But what about non-emasculated straight men like me who adore David Bowie and Barney Frank?
Monkey: That's okay - as long as it's not both. One or the other.
CM: Why not?
Monkey: Because they're not artistic enough for Bowie and they don't look young enough for Barney.
And, speaking of Bowie (though it's far more funny to see the video):
"Does the space cold make your nipples go pointy, Bowie?
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae to transmit data back to
Earth?" (From "Flight of the Conchords," Episode 6: Bowie)
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4 comments:
Only you would add a label like boobs. This could be interesting.
Tell me about it...
Okay: I guess no one else wants to share their sex comedies, huh? That's too bad. Like none of you ever ralphed on a partner before? Or fell out of the sex swing and had your partner's foot crack open your lip on the way down, requiring a trip to the ER for stitches? Or realized (midway through) that you roomate was passed out in the same bed? Or...okay...whatever.
Sex can be awkward and hilarious sometimes...thought it might be fun to share some of those kodak moments. Ya friggin prudes...
Hadn't heard the one about the sex swing...maybe we just need to talk about sex at home more often? Apparently this has become a conversation between the two of us.
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