What do a bunch of grown men who spend their lives perpetuating a fairy tale do when they gather and have too much free time?
They form an organized religion, of course!
I jest.
In this case, they formed the group, Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas. I shit you not.
And, they happen to be in town this weekend - or, what's left of them is in town.
The group started back in the 90s when 100 of them were hired to do a commercial for a German mail-order company. The filming lasted from 3:00 in the afternoon until 5:00 the next morning. Red-suit delirious and sleep-deprived, they decided to form a fraternal order and get together once a year.
Back-stabbing, infighting and just general "unsanta-like behavior" ensued...leading to a major schism in the fraternity and reducing their numbers from the hundreds to several dozen. Splinter groups have formed, lawsuits have been filed, and there are even threats of sabotage as the original group gathers this weekend for their annual convention.
Ahh...brotherhood...peace on earth and good will toward all.
I say we settle the matter by getting them all together in the Octogan of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, include their elves, put it on pay-per view, and let them decide the matter like real Saints - may the biggest-bellied, strongest son-of-a-bitch in red tights win!
(Kinda like the Inquisition.)
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